Sunday, December 30, 2007

Super Sketcher


I'm an avid mobile phone gamer and to say that I've played a lot of games would, well, do gross injustice to the punishment that my phone buttons have endured. So to blow me away, a game would have to be more than great, and well Super Sketcher is the Superman of more than great.

The entire concept itself is absolutely amazing. You're a bored student in a class and you sketch a hero. Now this hero dude has to do hero stuff (obviously) like run at 200 mph on obstacle courses. Now you, the bored student (I did not need to say that lol ), are supposed to draw things with your pencil to help him overcome the obstacle course. Like different shapes to help him jump and/or lines to bridge gaps.

Difficulty is optimum. Its easy enough for you to stay addicted and difficult enough to not blaze through it.

And if this game has the ability to unhook me from Pokemon Black and Final Fantasy II (both on an amazing gameboy emulator that uses my A & B buttons), its certainly got the right stuff.

176x220 Version


I cant put the 320x240 one up because it dont support large scale piracy. :P

Friday, December 28, 2007

Another List

Once in a while I like to lift my royal arse and transfer it to a slightly more mundane and cliched seat.
Well this is the "once in a while" and the here goes the mundane shit (not pertaining to arse in anyway though :P)

Winners 2007:

1.Porcupine Tree
Who else can make both Fear Of A Blank Planet and the Arriving Somewhere concert. Hail to the Wilson.

2.Team India
For kicking some English, Paki and T20 ass.
NOTE: When an Indian from India says "Paki" in cyberspace is it considered racial? We better ask Gordon White, errr.. or is it Brown?

3.Firmware Hackers
For making Sony Ericsson/Nokia/Siemens encryption seem like a joke.

4.The Indian Stock Market (BSE, NSE's too insignificant lol)
For riding the economic boom harder than Jenna Jameson.

5.Raju Anna
For keeping me alive.

6.us
For completing 4 years.

Losers 2007

1.The United States Of America
For having a government almost as smart as Grassie the Grasshopper.

2.General Musharraf
For turning Pakistan into Afghanistan.

3.Indian Police
Hmmpph, Do I really need to say anything? BIGGEST LOSER.

And I guess I'll leave it at that. 2007's been kind to me and I hope its been to you too. If not play you could always play PACMAN :D here-------->
Cheers.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

dumpAGE

This post is kinda out of the context of my contextually themed blog, theme being non-sensically equated to this nonsensically gorgeous sentence.

Anyway I love my W550i and I hope you do to. Here's a dump of stuff you can mod your phone with. This because its kinda rare to find stuff for the phone and no one really creates stuff for it now, except of course, me. :P
This dump will be kinda useful when my comp dies too, which has happened thrice already, hinting at a feline computer.

UPDATE 3/1/2008
-New Acoustic Added!
-Added new camera driver!
UPDATE 2/1/2008
-Added Led Zep Skin

1.WALKMAN SKINS(requires sysgfx)
-Walkman Black
-Walkman EXUS LITE Orange
-Pink Floyd by Me
-NEW!! Led Zep Skin :D

2.Graphics (also requires sysgfx)
-Pack 1
-Linux Pack
-RHCP style Volume Indicators :D

3.Acoustic Drivers
-My Acoustic Pack 1
-Depeha's OtM extreme editted to remove OtM
-NEW!! mAdMix 1.2

4.Camera Drivers
-Version 5.5
-Camera Driver 2
This ones a little special. Its low on brightness so EV changing is a must. But the good part about it is it takes amazing pictures in dimly lit places. There's no graininess and pictures are smoother. I'd recommend using both these drivers, you could use the camdriver to /other/drv patch and change drivers on the phone itself. You dont need to restart the phone to see the effect. Just change drivers and start the camera!

5.Useful Tools
-main2raw(remove .zip and extract as .rar)
-Halmer Certificate With Key
-Icon Extractor for FW

6.VKP Patches(entire pack)
-Here
Includes ALL patches EVER made/ported for W550i :)

Cheers!

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Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The Truth about Bodom



Continuing its moral responsibility of quite clearly spelling out the reality of things, my blog has stumbled upon a great secret uncovered in a sting operation. The following report has been compiled after the author put his life on the line so that you, his faithful labrado...errr.. I mean reader, know the truth and only the truth.
Here goes..

In 1959, Gujarati businessman Prafulbhai Bodomwalle migrated from his poverty ridden life in Gujarat to his real home at Gujjufoundland,New Jersey. There he lived a lonely life till he met local supermodel and crime fighting blonde rockstar Spankie Sandstorm.
They instantly fell for eachother and decided to copulate.
After the birth of their first 2 children, the couple often engaged in domestic warfare and when Spankie discovered chemical weapons the 2 children decided to live with their neighbours.
The kind family of Jaswinder "Joe" Sachdevani welcomed the children like the were their own. They were given a special kennel each and were chained with fairest of chains made from pure silver.

Soon Jaswinder became their mentor. He played the electric guitar quite well and taught the 2 children all they know, which is not much actually.
In a slightly unrelated twist Jaswinder Sachdevani later legally renamed himself to Joe Satriani and is now bald.
The two children (who have requested anonymity and hence shall be called Choto Bodomwalle and Moto Bodomwalle(names changed)) founded Children of Bodom, a band that excels in using regurgigative re-production and electromechanical feedback to create music Jaswinder would be proud of.
Here's a section of the freewheeling chat with them:

me:So the truth is out! Do you guys feel lighter now?
CB:Not exactly, it has'nt helped since our fan base is either red neck americans or really uncoothe north indians and neither like gujaratis.

me:So are you gonna deny this report when it is published?
MB:Yes, of course.

me:Dont you think its kinda stupid you already told me that?
CB:Whhhat theee ****? you call me stupid?? Wait till I get my.. (advances menacingly)
MB:Choto! Gadhedo che kya?!? (throws him a bone that Choto gladly accepts)
(to me) Please leave. I dont wish to bite you.

DISCLAIMER: The author disclaim all claims made in the above article.

The Bihari, Bengali and the Beast

Quite recently I had the fortune of attending a training session on Electrical Relays at a MNC here in Baroda, which was actually meant for a bunch of Railway employees.
Fortune I say because they turned out to be 3 Biharis and 1 Bengali/Bihari Hybrid, or should I say mongrel :).
Anyway in the entire course of the session the mongrel asked a few amazing questions, which really got me thinking, have we really evolved from monkeys or are we still stuck there :)

Q1. Yeh 3 phej sirkit(phase circuit) mein jab arth folt(earth fault) hoga to kya yeh khud tirrip(trip) ho jayega?
The pronounciations were so amajing that the futile question was forgotten :)

Q2. Yeh relay mein bhairus (virus) aa jayega to?
Now a relay is a device like your air conditioner or microwave oven. This bloke is acutally scared it might contract a bhairus.

Q3.bhis bheelay bhill bhurk bhen bhasu bhuryue?? *swallows the chips takes another fistful and stuff it in his mouth. Then looks up for an answer.

Monday, December 17, 2007

AGAIN??

And if you thought the last video was bad, here's an attempt to rectify the situation. American Superbrains ( actually "American Superbrains That Migrated To The US From India", the term "american superbrain" is often equated to the square root or -1, or iota, different from Iowa)
decided the best thing to do would be to ask her the SAME QUESTION again. The probability she'd go wrong was 1.3. This just proves that American Superbrains have reached levels of Americanism only Ms. South Carolina knows.
P.S: They were wrong. > evil laughter <

P.P.S: Extract from the comments below the video.

xloser182 (7 hours ago) Show Hide Marked as spam
0

americans reali are stupid, perhaps not all of them, but from the eyes of the world id say the majority lol
americans believe whatever they see on´╗┐ TV,
they believe in god,
they believe in bush,
they believe in nightrider.

Smorgso (6 hours ago) Show Hide Marked as spam
+1
Nah nobody believes in bush.

(Warning DoTA lingo ahead)
xloser just pwned the US for 185 gold.
The US is very sick!

...and we're back

Hello there jobless net surfer reading my blog,

After slipping into a vegetative state my computer has recovered without much re-constructive surgery. It just decided to switch on. That is what I love about my Harappa excavated machine, whenever the chips are down it swims against the current and reaches the closest port.

In other updates my phone, a W550i that I adore, is so pimped thatFrench hookers have expressed their jealous disapproval. Apart from carrying my name on every icon/skin that matters it now can take pictures in walkman mode. Everytime it is swiveled open it quite disturbingly screams "holy shit" and reminds me of my wonderful gaming days. I've modded my acoustic and camera drivers. Quite unbelievably my phone is louder.

Of course for the less informed you might amuse yourself with this amazing video. Its quite a watch. And if it was not for the American blonde in it I would've passed it as a exceptional case. I'd recommend you ask her mom what she fed her as a kid. Then stockpile all of that and use the US army on them. I'm sure that'd more constructive than Iraq, Afghanistan and Vietnam multiplied.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Driv-age-er

Hmmpphhh!

It feels good to go driving again. Been a long time. Inspite of my supernatural driving skills (I'm known to have gone past 2 audis and a merc e class (lucky for them they were stationery(not that it reduced the embarassement)) with our Maruti 800) my dad insisted I take the truthful way of every Indian and go to driving school and get the licence from the demi-god of the RTO, the 'agent'(scary music in the background,then lightning).



Hence, enter life left, Dattu Bhai, the agent. (scary music in the background,then lightning).



On one of our rounds I was a little off colour. And quite naturally Dattu Bhai gave me quite a lecture. On and on he went about the little things(like the cow I almost hit).



Now if you're me(which you are not), you wont take shit(which you may or may not), especially from a Tulsi/Mankichaand chewing, gujju-ma-swearing no good non-nri gujju, unless of course you're GPA depends on it.

So I gave it to him. On the face, it was a pleasure watching it template T{painfully contort into a million painful contortions} and T(writhe). Nicely done eh?



One semester later:

Ek semester bad:

Ek semester pachad (?):

Oka semester tarwata:

Onu semester pinnadi:



I call him up to renew bonds, share memories, catch up and get my friggin' licence made.

me: Dattu bhai che?

DB:hmm..bolu chu.

me: thoda hindi mein bolo naa gujrati nahi aati.

DB: theek hai bolo.

me: haan mein aap ke driving school mein 5 mahine pehele aata tha. Ab licence banana hai.

("licence banana hai" LOL LOL, pre-emptive kela)

DB:naam su che?

me: Abhishek Madan

DB: Aaahbiisyyake Madn? ruuk ne, card dekhu chu.

me:yaad nahi? chashme waala?

DB: chuusmaa? ruuk ne. kaunsa gaadi?

me: Santro.

DB:Acha woh bhai jisne mujhe beech raste mein jhaada tha?

me: I guess!

DB: ssssuuuuuu?

me: haan wahi wahi.

DB: haan theeke.. Kal subarrree mein aa jane kaa. Chalo.

me: chalo.

DB:chalo.

me:rakh ne!
--EOC---


Chalo. bye.

Monday, December 3, 2007

American Chopper

Its about 3 in the afternoon. The wind has died down and the sun is out, but there's still a detectable chill in the stagnant air. I'm on my dio (which is just a scooter, but I'm on my scooter sounds too...err..dorky?) and my mirrors are full with some dude behind me honking like his horn is his girl friend's ..err.. lets say he was honking his timbers.

I move left and let him pass. And I see his bike. Its a cruiser, really pretty. Leather, black paint and shiny chrome. Its low, sounds powerful and real choppy and isn't a Bajaj or Yamaha toy cruiser. His fuel tank says Enfield.
As he quite lazily goes past me I see the biker. He's short, stocky and has a pair of shades on. Quite fittingly with a leather jacket, with a lot of metal on it too (err... sad).

As he completely goes past me his number plate reads GJ xx x 0007 and somewhere in between it says, in pink paint and quite an oestrogen induced font "I am Bond"(how ingenious and witty).

And as I look up again behind his metal filled leather jacket in large, bold, silver, painted letters I read "Britney Spears" and a sad caricature of a mountain goat with blonde hair.
I have reason to believe he is from the crab people.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Gujjus you never knew

ERIC CLAPTON

Assumption:He's gujju.
Proof:
Wood you knowed my nyaame,
EEf I saaw yuu in HYEAAVAN,
Wood you bee the syaame,
EEf i saaw yuu in HYEAVEN.

Q.E.D

OSCAR WILDE
He wore pin striped pants for heavens' sake!
Q.E.D

THE GOVERNOR OF NEW JERSEY
He's from New Jersey.
Q.E.D

XERXES
Dude look at him. The gold. The rings. The patel type jewellery.
Q.E.D

GEORGE MICHAEL
He goes to hair dressing salons AND beauty parlours AND puts on make up.
Enough said.
Q.E.D
Friends, Romans ane bhai log!
Weylcome to Once Upon A Time In A Gujjuland!

DISCLAIMER: All views expressed here are purely the opinion of the evil spirit that resides in the mind of the blogger, who in turn ofcourse, is not responsible for the views that the evil spirit makes him opine. Hence. if you are offended by this blog then you can hold the evil media, which as the gujju would put it, is the papa of the evil spirit, responsible. It has entered the minds of the youth of the country and has caused a null pointer exception.